For one Parisien mother of four, the options for herself and her family in the years to come were already clear. She spends much of her time organising and planning ahead to secure a smooth future for herself and her family. But what about the present? What about today? If today's future will one day be our present, do we have room to appreciate what we have already worked hard to achieve? For our efficient, hard-working and clutter free Parisien mother, this was a powerful realisation, as she came to terms with the challenge of 'being in the moment' to appreciate the present. Planning for the future doubtless has its rewards. In this instance though, the price being paid suddenly apeared to be too high and what was left was an appreciation of the present. 'The past is history, the future is a mystery and At lunchtime, we gathered in the marquee to hear our Parisien mum 'Sing for Fun' with a group from another course, which she had also attended during the week. Her beaming smile was evident. She was 'in the moment' singing for her life and all it had bought her. On my return home from Marlborough, I wasn't sure what to expect, having left my husband in the care of our two children for the week. As I walked in, I heard the cricket on the radio and then saw the three of them making apple pie. Our eldest son was rolling out the pastry while the youngest sorted the 'goodies' from the 'baddies' amongst the apples, cores and peelings, picked earlier from the garden. For once I was thankful that my husband lives in the present, even if it does mean I have to organise everything beyond lunchtime on any given day. I don't know who won the cricket but the apple pie was delicious. |
Monday, 16 August 2010
Have you ever been enlightened by an apple pie?
Tuesday, 16 March 2010
Self Doubt or Self Belief?
Speaking Events
Association for Coaching
Dana spoke to the Newbury Coaching Circle about the difference between self belief on the one hand and self doubt on the other. Drawing on experience from her career as a professional jockey, Dana illustrated how easily we can flip from self belief (I can) to self doubt (I can't) within a matter of seconds.
Human nature being what it is, means that finding self belief in times of self doubt, is a far greater challenge. Where is the line drawn and what essentially makes the difference between the two?
Bumps to Business: How to manage your career/manager/boss/colleagues or anyone else you need to have a relationship with after maternity leave!
The University of Bath hosted a series of free inspirational and informative talks to celebrate International Women’s Day on Monday 8th March 2010.
"Dana spoke at the University of Bath for International Women's Day 2010 to a riveted audience of mothers and women interested in maternity issues. Dana conveyed her personal experiences of changing from professional jockey to coach specialising in parents’ transitions. It was not only heart felt but an intelligent talk saying that everyone tackles maternity and return to work differently and that is fine. The one training tool that Dana fully explained in the time was appropriate and very powerful for everyone in the audience to use. After a very special talk Dana took questions from the audience really listening to their stories and facilitating group discussion and reflection. It was an excellent talk and I highly recommend any individuals to attend Dana's next speaking engagements and for businesses and organisations to strongly consider booking Dana to hear her focused insights on this important area. The more we understand and support mothers and fathers at work the more business and society will gain." Service Category: public speaker Top Qualities: Expert, High Integrity, Creative
Self Doubt or Self Belief? Almost 4 years ago, while I was on maternity leave for the second time, I realised that returning to my pre-parent job and being the parent I so wanted to be was simply not going to happen. Financially, I hadn't planned for a career break (neither had my husband!) and I was still emotionally attached to the pre-parent role I had worked hard to establish. At the time, I was sure of two things: firstly if I was going to move onto a more family-compatible career, I needed to believe in myself and secondly that my default mode at the time was to constantly doubt myself. Even the thought of creating a new career threw me way out of my comfort zone and in my sleep deprived semi-conscious state, I began a journey which started with a place on the Women Into Enterprise Course with Bath University. Today I run my own business from home, building my work committments around my two young sons. So how do we turn self doubt into self belief? How do we use our self belief to create something which is better than that which we've left behind? Just as every child is different, each parent has a personal and unique experience of returning to work. Using coaching tools and concepts, we can learn how to create the role which works for us, as well as for everyone else.
Association for Coaching
Dana spoke to the Newbury Coaching Circle about the difference between self belief on the one hand and self doubt on the other. Drawing on experience from her career as a professional jockey, Dana illustrated how easily we can flip from self belief (I can) to self doubt (I can't) within a matter of seconds.
Human nature being what it is, means that finding self belief in times of self doubt, is a far greater challenge. Where is the line drawn and what essentially makes the difference between the two?
Bumps to Business: How to manage your career/manager/boss/colleagues or anyone else you need to have a relationship with after maternity leave!
The University of Bath hosted a series of free inspirational and informative talks to celebrate International Women’s Day on Monday 8th March 2010.
"Dana spoke at the University of Bath for International Women's Day 2010 to a riveted audience of mothers and women interested in maternity issues. Dana conveyed her personal experiences of changing from professional jockey to coach specialising in parents’ transitions. It was not only heart felt but an intelligent talk saying that everyone tackles maternity and return to work differently and that is fine. The one training tool that Dana fully explained in the time was appropriate and very powerful for everyone in the audience to use. After a very special talk Dana took questions from the audience really listening to their stories and facilitating group discussion and reflection. It was an excellent talk and I highly recommend any individuals to attend Dana's next speaking engagements and for businesses and organisations to strongly consider booking Dana to hear her focused insights on this important area. The more we understand and support mothers and fathers at work the more business and society will gain." Service Category: public speaker Top Qualities: Expert, High Integrity, Creative
Self Doubt or Self Belief? Almost 4 years ago, while I was on maternity leave for the second time, I realised that returning to my pre-parent job and being the parent I so wanted to be was simply not going to happen. Financially, I hadn't planned for a career break (neither had my husband!) and I was still emotionally attached to the pre-parent role I had worked hard to establish. At the time, I was sure of two things: firstly if I was going to move onto a more family-compatible career, I needed to believe in myself and secondly that my default mode at the time was to constantly doubt myself. Even the thought of creating a new career threw me way out of my comfort zone and in my sleep deprived semi-conscious state, I began a journey which started with a place on the Women Into Enterprise Course with Bath University. Today I run my own business from home, building my work committments around my two young sons. So how do we turn self doubt into self belief? How do we use our self belief to create something which is better than that which we've left behind? Just as every child is different, each parent has a personal and unique experience of returning to work. Using coaching tools and concepts, we can learn how to create the role which works for us, as well as for everyone else.
Wednesday, 11 November 2009
If Your Horse Is Dead - DISMOUNT!
| Riding as a professional jockey for 7 years, taught me a lot about dismounting horses which were effectively 'dead'. They didn't win, they were never going to win and they certainly weren't going to enhance the career of any jockey. Where expectation of a racehorse's potential is high, perseverance often overcomes common sense as trainers of 'dead' horses continue to find 'bad enough' races in which they may be sighted. As it costs just as much to train a bad horse as it does a good horse, little is achieved until a decision is taken to retire these horses and re-train them for another, more suitable role. In her book Ladies........If Your Horse is Dead - DISMOUNT! So why are we so reluctant to dismount our dead horses? We cling onto what we know because its comfortable, even though its not what we want. 'Better the devil we know'. This is the most common reason for sitting on a dead horse.
| |||||
| A unique set of practical, easy to pick up tools, has now been developed by Bumpy Business. Drawing on 15 years experience, including the successful coaching of over 100 sports professionals, who went on to find themselves a new career after sport, evidence strongly suggests this process really does work. Delivered as flexible1:1 learning or to small groups Be Careful What You Wish For.......can be taken as an entire workshop or as individual modules, depending on client availability and current situation. If you think you're on a dead horse, clinging to a dead belief or behaviour hoping that no-one will notice......we would really like to hear from you. | |||||
Thursday, 25 June 2009
The Future Perfect
With the onset of half term we embarked on a family holiday in Tenby involving three families and eight children.
In the midst of the pre-holiday chaos, I was torn between leaving loose ends at Bumpy Business or giving away my children before we even got to Tenby. Then I recalled the words of Mark McKergow who points out our natural tendancy to look at the problem instead of the solution.
During a presentation he asked us: 'What would you like to improve today?'
Without disclosing the answer, we were asked to write down a number between 1 and 10 to describe our present situation, with 10 being the future perfect. While most of us reached a 4 or a 5, he asked us:
Why so high? What’s right? What’s good? What’s working? What’s going well? Why not lower ? Why are you not at zero? Mark explained that even if we are at a 1 or a 2, there will be something there that is already working. By seeing this we will amplify it
'what you see is what you accentuate' he told us ' the solution or parts of it are already happening'.
So how can we increase or amplify what is already working? What first step can we take to move ourselves up one point? Are we willing to commit to this? By sharing this with you, I moved one step towards my own undisclosed answer. We all got to Tenby, my business in still running even after a ten day holiday and I also have a new client.
‘ There is nothing wrong with you that what’s right with you can’t put right’ Mark McKergow
I hope you had a great half term too.
For a unique opportunity to create your own solutions please follow http://www.mcsummerschool.org.uk/course.asp?course=206
In the midst of the pre-holiday chaos, I was torn between leaving loose ends at Bumpy Business or giving away my children before we even got to Tenby. Then I recalled the words of Mark McKergow who points out our natural tendancy to look at the problem instead of the solution.
During a presentation he asked us: 'What would you like to improve today?'
Without disclosing the answer, we were asked to write down a number between 1 and 10 to describe our present situation, with 10 being the future perfect. While most of us reached a 4 or a 5, he asked us:
Why so high? What’s right? What’s good? What’s working? What’s going well? Why not lower ? Why are you not at zero? Mark explained that even if we are at a 1 or a 2, there will be something there that is already working. By seeing this we will amplify it
'what you see is what you accentuate' he told us ' the solution or parts of it are already happening'.
So how can we increase or amplify what is already working? What first step can we take to move ourselves up one point? Are we willing to commit to this? By sharing this with you, I moved one step towards my own undisclosed answer. We all got to Tenby, my business in still running even after a ten day holiday and I also have a new client.
‘ There is nothing wrong with you that what’s right with you can’t put right’ Mark McKergow
I hope you had a great half term too.
For a unique opportunity to create your own solutions please follow http://www.mcsummerschool.org.uk/course.asp?course=206
Thursday, 14 May 2009
A Lesson From Sporting Achievement
Last month, a horse called Mon Mome won the Aintree Grand National at odds of 100-1. He was the longest odds winner of the race since 1967 and was ridden by a young jockey having his first ever ride in the race. The race made me reflect on what can be achieved as long as we allow the possibility for it to happen.
In my capacity as a career coach for professional jockeys, a jockey once explained to me why he had decided to retire from racing. He had become what is known in racing as a ‘33-1 jockey’. He rode horses with outside chances of winning on a regular basis and made enough money to pay his mortgage and keep his family. He had ‘little to complain about’ and when the odd horse did win, it was an added bonus.
One particular day, this jockey went to the races with his usual book of 33-1 rides. He arrived at the course early, as he liked to do, even though he wasn’t booked to ride in the first race. As the first race jockeys began to get ready it became clear that the rider of the favourite, a top class jockey, was stuck in traffic and it looked unlikely that he would meet the deadline to ride in the first race. The trainer of the favourite was left with no option but to ask the 33-1 jockey to ride the horse. he was now the only available licensed jockey on the track. As the 33-1 jockey put the colours on he found himself praying that the top jockey would turn up – quickly! He was a 33-1 jockey and not the rider of a favourite trained by one of the top trainers in the country. An opportunity which he had often dreamt about as a young jockey was suddenly an unwanted imposition.
As self doubt consumed him, he wondered what had become of that young man who had set out to become the best jockey he could possibly be. He was trapped inside the comfort zone of being a 33-1 jockey with low expectations, where loosing was a given and winning a surprise. He didn’t want to ride this horse, he didn’t want the pressure, he didn’t want the glory.
As the final minutes approached he was the first to hear the athletic footsteps of the top jockey bounding into to the weighing room. He was stripping off the colours and handing them over before anyone else had barely noticed the new arrival. Within the next minute the top jockey was sitting on the scales wearing the colours of the favourite, and ten minutes later he rode the horse to victory. Completely drained by the experience, the 33-1 jockey reflected on what could have been and what would now never be.
Over the next few years he worked hard to re-train and built up a profitable business with loyal customers who now value him for his expertise. He makes more than enough money to pay the mortgage, keep his family and enjoys regular holidays. He finishes work each day knowing he has performed to the best of his ability, he welcomes new challenges and takes different experiences in his stride.
In business as in sport, we are all in danger of becoming a 33-1 jockey with daily routines and limited expectations, so how do we keep our 100-1 possibilities alive, where glory finds us before we even seek it? Restoring our self belief by recognising wake-up calls, acknowledging our situation and being honest with ourselves, is a great first step - whatever the odds.
‘Records are set all the time by big hearted people who don’t have the right background, ability or experience or who simply don’t know any better”. Kobi Yamada
©2009 Bumpy Business
In my capacity as a career coach for professional jockeys, a jockey once explained to me why he had decided to retire from racing. He had become what is known in racing as a ‘33-1 jockey’. He rode horses with outside chances of winning on a regular basis and made enough money to pay his mortgage and keep his family. He had ‘little to complain about’ and when the odd horse did win, it was an added bonus.
One particular day, this jockey went to the races with his usual book of 33-1 rides. He arrived at the course early, as he liked to do, even though he wasn’t booked to ride in the first race. As the first race jockeys began to get ready it became clear that the rider of the favourite, a top class jockey, was stuck in traffic and it looked unlikely that he would meet the deadline to ride in the first race. The trainer of the favourite was left with no option but to ask the 33-1 jockey to ride the horse. he was now the only available licensed jockey on the track. As the 33-1 jockey put the colours on he found himself praying that the top jockey would turn up – quickly! He was a 33-1 jockey and not the rider of a favourite trained by one of the top trainers in the country. An opportunity which he had often dreamt about as a young jockey was suddenly an unwanted imposition.
As self doubt consumed him, he wondered what had become of that young man who had set out to become the best jockey he could possibly be. He was trapped inside the comfort zone of being a 33-1 jockey with low expectations, where loosing was a given and winning a surprise. He didn’t want to ride this horse, he didn’t want the pressure, he didn’t want the glory.
As the final minutes approached he was the first to hear the athletic footsteps of the top jockey bounding into to the weighing room. He was stripping off the colours and handing them over before anyone else had barely noticed the new arrival. Within the next minute the top jockey was sitting on the scales wearing the colours of the favourite, and ten minutes later he rode the horse to victory. Completely drained by the experience, the 33-1 jockey reflected on what could have been and what would now never be.
Over the next few years he worked hard to re-train and built up a profitable business with loyal customers who now value him for his expertise. He makes more than enough money to pay the mortgage, keep his family and enjoys regular holidays. He finishes work each day knowing he has performed to the best of his ability, he welcomes new challenges and takes different experiences in his stride.
In business as in sport, we are all in danger of becoming a 33-1 jockey with daily routines and limited expectations, so how do we keep our 100-1 possibilities alive, where glory finds us before we even seek it? Restoring our self belief by recognising wake-up calls, acknowledging our situation and being honest with ourselves, is a great first step - whatever the odds.
‘Records are set all the time by big hearted people who don’t have the right background, ability or experience or who simply don’t know any better”. Kobi Yamada
©2009 Bumpy Business
Thursday, 16 April 2009
Working Mums Interview
This month, Dana was interviewed by Mandy Garner from Working Mums. Before becoming Web Editor at WorkingMums, Mandy was features editor of the Times Higher Education Supplement for nearly eight years. She is a freelance journalist and editor, has three children, aged eight, four and two and lives in Essex.
Dana's Interview with Working Mums - April 2009
Dana Mellor used to be a jockey. She says she was groomed for the job from a child and competed professionally for seven years until she decided she wanted to do something different. Thankfully she had a law degree to fall back on, but she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do after the years of enormous self discipline involved in being a jockey. “I felt there must be other jockeys feeling the same way,” she said. So Dana created her ideal job, as an industry funded career coach for jockeys facing the end of their career. Since becoming a mum, she has seen many mums who have taken time out of work, face a similar dilemma and she has decided to use her experience in coaching to set up a business to support them.
Dana, who has two sons aged 5 and 3 and lives in Hungerford, says she “hugely underestimated the impact of children”. “I went back to work very early after I had my first son thinking I would carry on working as before,” she says. “I did a four-day week working from home and had a lot of support from my manager. My first day back I had to travel to a team meeting which was a two and a half hour drive away. I’d bought different clothes as my ordinary work clothes were still too small and as I was still breastfeeding, I’d arranged to take my son and his childminder with me. I received a phone call that morning from a colleague to ‘warn’ me that the rest of the team were reticent about my returning to work so soon. I was disappointed and felt under pressure to prove myself in a way I had never felt before. I was determined to prove them wrong but I was absolutely exhausted.”
Coaching
Dana says that before motherhood, her job as a career coach for the racing industry was her priority and she had willingly accepted the long hours culture. After 10 years working full time, she took a sideways step into a more local role and soldiered on until she had her second son, when she realised that the whole thing wasn’t working. After some research, Dana decided to do a business start-up course at the University of Bath. It was a government funded course, encouraging ‘women into enterprise’ and a free crèche was provided. “There were a lot of like-minded people in the same position as me,” says Dana. “I got all the support I needed.”
While she was doing the course she had the idea for her current business, a career coaching service for returning mums called Bumpy Business. “They had a lot of the same issues as jockeys looking for a second career. They were at a crossroads. They were asking themselves ‘what else can I do?’ They had lots of skills, some wanted to retrain and they had a lot to offer, but they didn’t necessarily recognise this,” she says.
Transferable skills
When Dana was coaching jockeys she would ask them to focus on what they could do. For instance, they are good at taking in detailed information, fast. At the racecourse, they are often meeting the horse they are riding for the first time and have only 30 seconds with a trainer before a race to discuss tactics. They have to use their own initiative, make decisions under pressure and being self employed, manage their own time, self promotion and finances. Good communication skills really help to build rapport with trainers and explain a horse’s performance after a disappointing run. Many jockeys have to work hard at this. With evening as well as day race meetings and a seven day week during the summer months, stamina is a given. Early morning starts can be followed by a return home after midnight. As they have to ride at a certain weight, many are following disciplined diets. They have all these skills, yet many are “convinced that all they can do is ride a horse,” says Dana.
She thinks many mums do not recognise the skills they have as a mum. “I have become a more versatile person as a result of having children,” she says. She adds that being able to listen, prioritise, negotiate, lead, make key decisions and be creative are key parenting skills. “Mums are often sleep deprived so working in very challenging circumstances. This makes them more resourceful, the barriers are raised and this needs to be recognised. There is a lot of untapped talent which can be used to build the confidence of mums and employers,” she says.
Bumpy Business runs 1:1 mentoring and workshops covering career change, writing your CV and preparing for interviews. Dana says the response has been good to date. Her clients include jockeys’ wives and ex-wives and to widen the field she is running workshops at a local Sure Start Centre, a nearby Summer School and is establishing contacts through social networking sites. While she wants her business to develop slowly, she hopes to be working with employers as well as mothers by the time her youngest son starts school in September 2010.
Although Dana admits that now may be a tough time to look for a job, she says it is a good time to prepare for a career change or a return to work. “It is a great time to be finding out what we want to do so that, once the economy picks up, we are ready.”
http://www.bumpybusiness.co.uk/
Dana's Interview with Working Mums - April 2009
Dana Mellor used to be a jockey. She says she was groomed for the job from a child and competed professionally for seven years until she decided she wanted to do something different. Thankfully she had a law degree to fall back on, but she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do after the years of enormous self discipline involved in being a jockey. “I felt there must be other jockeys feeling the same way,” she said. So Dana created her ideal job, as an industry funded career coach for jockeys facing the end of their career. Since becoming a mum, she has seen many mums who have taken time out of work, face a similar dilemma and she has decided to use her experience in coaching to set up a business to support them.
Dana, who has two sons aged 5 and 3 and lives in Hungerford, says she “hugely underestimated the impact of children”. “I went back to work very early after I had my first son thinking I would carry on working as before,” she says. “I did a four-day week working from home and had a lot of support from my manager. My first day back I had to travel to a team meeting which was a two and a half hour drive away. I’d bought different clothes as my ordinary work clothes were still too small and as I was still breastfeeding, I’d arranged to take my son and his childminder with me. I received a phone call that morning from a colleague to ‘warn’ me that the rest of the team were reticent about my returning to work so soon. I was disappointed and felt under pressure to prove myself in a way I had never felt before. I was determined to prove them wrong but I was absolutely exhausted.”
Coaching
Dana says that before motherhood, her job as a career coach for the racing industry was her priority and she had willingly accepted the long hours culture. After 10 years working full time, she took a sideways step into a more local role and soldiered on until she had her second son, when she realised that the whole thing wasn’t working. After some research, Dana decided to do a business start-up course at the University of Bath. It was a government funded course, encouraging ‘women into enterprise’ and a free crèche was provided. “There were a lot of like-minded people in the same position as me,” says Dana. “I got all the support I needed.”
While she was doing the course she had the idea for her current business, a career coaching service for returning mums called Bumpy Business. “They had a lot of the same issues as jockeys looking for a second career. They were at a crossroads. They were asking themselves ‘what else can I do?’ They had lots of skills, some wanted to retrain and they had a lot to offer, but they didn’t necessarily recognise this,” she says.
Transferable skills
When Dana was coaching jockeys she would ask them to focus on what they could do. For instance, they are good at taking in detailed information, fast. At the racecourse, they are often meeting the horse they are riding for the first time and have only 30 seconds with a trainer before a race to discuss tactics. They have to use their own initiative, make decisions under pressure and being self employed, manage their own time, self promotion and finances. Good communication skills really help to build rapport with trainers and explain a horse’s performance after a disappointing run. Many jockeys have to work hard at this. With evening as well as day race meetings and a seven day week during the summer months, stamina is a given. Early morning starts can be followed by a return home after midnight. As they have to ride at a certain weight, many are following disciplined diets. They have all these skills, yet many are “convinced that all they can do is ride a horse,” says Dana.
She thinks many mums do not recognise the skills they have as a mum. “I have become a more versatile person as a result of having children,” she says. She adds that being able to listen, prioritise, negotiate, lead, make key decisions and be creative are key parenting skills. “Mums are often sleep deprived so working in very challenging circumstances. This makes them more resourceful, the barriers are raised and this needs to be recognised. There is a lot of untapped talent which can be used to build the confidence of mums and employers,” she says.
Bumpy Business runs 1:1 mentoring and workshops covering career change, writing your CV and preparing for interviews. Dana says the response has been good to date. Her clients include jockeys’ wives and ex-wives and to widen the field she is running workshops at a local Sure Start Centre, a nearby Summer School and is establishing contacts through social networking sites. While she wants her business to develop slowly, she hopes to be working with employers as well as mothers by the time her youngest son starts school in September 2010.
Although Dana admits that now may be a tough time to look for a job, she says it is a good time to prepare for a career change or a return to work. “It is a great time to be finding out what we want to do so that, once the economy picks up, we are ready.”
http://www.bumpybusiness.co.uk/
Thursday, 19 February 2009
How Parenthood Develops Our Marketable Skills
What skills do we develop as parents, which are considered valuable in the job market?
This was the question a group of parents considered at the Bumpy Business workshop 'How To Return to Work After Parenthood'. A brainstorming session proved to be not only reassuring but enlightening.
'I liked the idea of looking at the years I spent at home with my children as a time of development of my management and leadership skills. The approach was so different and so fresh it gave me lots of positive energy'. Donna Edwards
In my experience, most recruitment consultants will advise parents to 'play down' the role of a parent as 'potential employers want to know you have time for them'. Most of us do have time for an employer at some point during parenthood and that is because the opportunities parenting has offered us to become efficient, focused and loyal members of our own community. When the time is right (this can be anything from 6 weeks to 6 years or more into 'maternity leave') we use strategies and processes to delegate to others, allowing us to move back into the job market. That in itself is a valuable experience.
This was the question a group of parents considered at the Bumpy Business workshop 'How To Return to Work After Parenthood'. A brainstorming session proved to be not only reassuring but enlightening.
'I liked the idea of looking at the years I spent at home with my children as a time of development of my management and leadership skills. The approach was so different and so fresh it gave me lots of positive energy'. Donna Edwards
In my experience, most recruitment consultants will advise parents to 'play down' the role of a parent as 'potential employers want to know you have time for them'. Most of us do have time for an employer at some point during parenthood and that is because the opportunities parenting has offered us to become efficient, focused and loyal members of our own community. When the time is right (this can be anything from 6 weeks to 6 years or more into 'maternity leave') we use strategies and processes to delegate to others, allowing us to move back into the job market. That in itself is a valuable experience.
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